Twenty Wishes

I recently read a book whose core theme was how making a list of twenty wishes dramatically changed the lives of each person involved. This topic intrigued me, and my hope is that it will encourage you to take the time to do it too. Let me explain a little more.

This was a group of women who met in a book group on Valentine’s Day, each having a devastating thing in common- they were all widows. Some had been widows for several years, while some had only been so for a few months. The ages of the women ranged from the 20’s to the 60’s, and their backgrounds couldn’t have been more different. Some were rich, some worked very hard just to make a living. Grief leveled the playing ground, and they were able to gain a different sense of belonging again in a world they felt was full of couples. Each felt a large chapter of their life had ended, and none of them felt totally alive. Life wasn’t unfolding as they had planned, and that felt like a bitter pill to swallow.

And then, one of them came up with the 20 Wishes concept, and none of their lives would ever be the same again!

Why is this so important?

Wishes are similar to dreams, and run along a similar path as hope! All are very powerful motivators for change, growth, and feeling more alive and joyful! To someone who has lost hope, or is feeling down, the concept of twenty wishes for themselves opens up all possibility once more. The concept is simple: List 20 wishes you’d like to see happen for YOU in the next year.

Did you catch that? No other rules apply-except this- once you have made your list, it requires action on your part. You are the only one who can make your wishes come true, and only if you take action to make it so. One small step starts the balls rolling, and you will be amazed at the changes that begin to occur! You are suddenly standing in the middle of a circle with 360 degrees of possibility and the power to make them happen!

So why does this even matter?

When something happens to us at any point in life that makes us stop seeing the possibilities before us, and it seems we have no options that excite us, it is easy to stay in that frame of mind. The longer we entertain these limiting thoughts, the more challenging it is to shake them. Especially when someone has died, there may be feelings of survivor’s guilt, or insecurities about doing things alone. These are all quite normal, yet not a place where we should stay.

During any long-term relationship there are parts of ourselves that we let go of to become a stronger unit- a stronger couple. After time, we may realize that we miss some of those aspects of ourselves, and this really sets in after the relationship ends, whether through death, separation, or divorce. It can happen in relationships where the couple wants to stay together, and one, or both of them decides to work on themselves.

What happened with the twenty wishes, and how can you start? At first it may be challenging to decide exactly what those 20 things should be. There are really so many possibilities! They can be practical, or they can be wishes that involve the heart. Some may be whimsical or even seem far-fetched. Remember that all things are possible!

The questions that you need to ask yourself are:

  1. What do you want most in the world?
  2. What are things you’ve always wanted to do, yet never have?

What did the women in the group wish for? Well to give you some ideas, here are some of the things on their lists:

  • To find one good thing about life
  • To find happiness again
  • To do something good for someone else
  • Several wished to find love again
  • Several wished to learn how to knit
  • To travel to Paris with someone they loved
  • Open a business doing what they loved
  • Meet new people
  • Form new friendships
  • Learn to speak French
  • Learn to cook something new
  • Explore a new concept of what family can look like

This process can be done on a single piece of paper, or you can make it as elaborate as you desire, listing them in a book and journaling each step of progress for each wish. The choices are all yours!

What will you wish for?