Recently on my own Facebook page I asked the question, “How old is too old to have a child?” The answers and reactions surprised me. One was from a doctor in Chicago, who was a student of mine quite a while ago, and she offered information that I didn’t know. She said, “I find this in interesting question, and since I work with infertility clients in my practice it comes up. Many fertility clinics (working with medical ethicists) use a “combined age of parents” of 105-110 as a cut off. Their reasoning is because higher age increases likelihood of death by parent, when child is still a dependent and we need to consider the child’s welfare. There was a case a couple years ago where a 65 yr. old German woman gave birth to quadruplets, which was incredibly high risk for babies and her (and she had 9 other children).” Good information to know. Knowledge is powerful, and it helps to learn from others.
Some of the people were adamant that their way was the right way, and although it certainly is for them, it may not be for others. That is one thing that makes life so interesting- the many differences we have the gift of sharing with each other.
Another woman recently posted some really negative thoughts about motherhood, and that didn’t feel good to me. There are so many who desperately want children and cannot get pregnant. I understand that there are moments that are rough, times that you aren’t sure if you are going to make it until night when they go to bed, but those are just moments, and they pass- all too quickly!
My mind traveled to the ones who have already raised their children, and the wisdom they have to impart. They have the benefit of hindsight, and can share some perspective, as some issues of parenting remain the same, no matter what “generation” you are categorized in.
I invite you to think back to your own childhood. What memories really stick out to you? Are there memories of family game nights, bedtime rituals that you loved as a child? You have so many pearls of wisdom to glean from your own childhood if you take a few moments to remember. I am constantly amazed at what my own children remember, as well as the memories they cherish that seemed so ordinary to me.
None of us are perfect at one of the most important jobs there are- raising the children of our world. I know that we all do the best that we can, with the information we have at the time.
One of my most tender “mom moments” came when my daughter was at a friend’s house. I was a single mom of three, and everyone had places to be. She was late, and I was trying to juggle the schedules and transportation of all three kids. When I went to pick her up, I found out the reason she was late. She was making a CD for me of all of my favorite songs- sixteen of them- as a gift for being a great mom! Humbling moment, as I didn’t feel like such a great mom after feeling impatient! I have it still, and play it often. That is perhaps the greatest gift I have been given. She put so much thought, effort, and time into it! I felt truly blessed!
The moments and years go by so quickly. Treasure them, and know that you can do this!