In my last blog, “Abstraction… or the Stuff Real Life is Made Of?” I wrote about the movie “Collateral Beauty”. The main character, Howard, wrote a letter to each of the three abstractions, Love, Time, and Death. Each was profound. I asked what your letter might look like if you were to write one to each them, now- in this moment. (Knowing that your letter would be different last year, last month, or now, for we are constantly changing, as are our circumstances.)
Here is mine.
I am deeply blessed to have known your many faces in this life. Blessed, and yet I know the tenderness that comes from losing you, too; how that feeling lingers, and reappears when least expected, sometimes feeling as if a tidal wave has hit me.
Yet, you bring joy like no other! I remember thinking that I had never really experienced living before, not like this, after meeting the love of my life. Such an incredible feeling! So many relationships throughout the years, and so much I learned about you, and myself, through each one! Family relationships, friendships, and learning that sharing you is one of the most important things we do while on this earth. Like a diamond, there are so many facets to you, each one of them equally important. I will admit, some kinds of love feel more important at the time. One of your many lessons is that each is of equal value- of great value- like a miracle.
You have taught me so much through the love I have for my children. From the first moments of looking into their eyes, and holding them so close, to the adults they have become. No love can carve its path so deeply into a heart, or hurt so deeply when they are hurt. Such a journey I’ve had with you- through their lives, and mine.
Thank you for all you have brought me, and thank you in advance, for all that is yet to come!
I want to thank you for the moments of my life. I pray there will be many, many, more. We have a saying we use too frequently- there is never enough Time. I guess we all feel like that occasionally. I know, too, that we generally try to make Time for what is really important to us, and that sometimes what we say is important, and how we spend you, don’t match up.
It feels like you move so swiftly! To me, it seems like yesterday my children were small. Now they are grown, and I watch my grandchildren move swiftly through your playground of sand. I pray that they all know your worth, and the value of sharing themselves with those that love them. Your sands run all too fast in the hourglass of each life.
I want to thank you for the experiences you have allowed to pass through my life- each age and stage, each phase and lesson. The joys have been many, and I know they will continue to mount in the days and years to come.
I thank you for every moment spent with those long gone. Each moment is now an extraordinary golden memory filled with the details of their lives, and our special relationship. You have allowed me to share kindnesses and sorrows with some incredible people. The impacts these moments have had on my life are immeasurable. They have helped create the best parts of me.
I know that for many the time spent traveling would be in their letter. For me, I have come to believe that none of that matters as much as who you spend your moments with; everything else is just geography.
Thank you for the time you’ve allowed me to connect, and to create lasting relationships in this life.
I have been blessed to witness the experience of your arrival with so many people when you have come for them. There are no words for how sacred this time/process is. I am so grateful that I was present for each of my parents when it was their time to move on. I learned so much during their death processes- about life, connections, and love. The rest of life’s details just seem to fall away, leaving what is the strongest, and most important- love.
I have felt the strangeness born out of now being the oldest generation still living. What a concept to wrap your head around when the time comes! Also, to be the last one living in your family of origin… now that is a biggie. I find there are many questions I still want to ask…and no one left who can answer them. You have shaped many lessons by your existence, and also forged many blessings by letting me be witness to a very private and sacred time of life.
This week you came for another person in my life who gave so much of himself in his work and relationships. He and his wife were my dear friends and mentors. Another moment where I felt the baton being passed on, and this one, was a very big one for me. In the midst of all of this, love was there too. Funny how you two always seem to work together, blanketing everything in beauty and depth. I do not fear you, but I must admit I think about you more. You have taken so many that I have known and loved. Grandparents, parents, friends; oh so many friends. I miss them deeply.
My prayer for us all, is that we never fear loving deeply just because when you come, we feel an emptiness like no other.
May we never fear loving, because of the pain of losing, but instead, move forward giving that love to all we meet, and also, to ourselves.
So, there you have it. My letters to the Three Abstractions. I must admit that it was a very interesting process. I encourage you to try it sometime. Then try it again a year or so later.
What would YOURS say?