What if you got one? What if you got a really BIG ONE?
Those of you who are close to me, know that I have been going through a lot this past month. I thank the very few that knew, and supported me in the way that I needed it the most. You are incredible!
So, what about this second chance?
I’m not talking about all of the chances we get each and every day to make different choices, although these are incredibly important too. I’m talking about a second chance that is the difference between life and death. I literally mean the reality- the absolute realness- of that kind of second chance.
Late last month, someone very dear to me went into their local health facility for a test. No big deal, in fact they almost canceled it, but at the last minute, decided to go.
What followed was life changing.
During the course of this test, the technician gave a diagnosis. That’s right. A technician gave this individual a diagnosis- a fatal one, and also gave information on how to “deal” with it. Devastating news, to be sure, but to a very stressed individual, whose stress relieving mechanisms were on overload, the future was non-existent, and the end loomed near. The end, in this particular disease, is very harsh, and this was known first hand. A downward spiral began, faster than anything I’d ever seen. No matter what was said- like the technician had no legal business saying this, showing their overall lack of knowledge right there, or that there was no real diagnosis yet, could change this individual’s outlook or mind. Leaving under their own terms was their line of thought, and the direction they planned, and were getting ready to execute.
A brilliant individual, researching the Internet to learn all about this incurable disease followed, and the symptoms that weren’t already there, developed in short order.
The PAIN… this was very deep and cutting to the very core of each and every one of our souls. To watch someone you love so deeply reach that kind of bottom was gut wrenching. None of us could help- and every one of us tried as we watched a very deep and downward spiral unfolding.
Another thing that did not help was the unavailability of a real appointment with an actual doctor. That was weeks away, as was an appointment at Mayo. And time suddenly ran out. No amount of my saying that my intuition/guides were telling me that this “diagnosis” was wrong, and they would live to be an old fart, or explaining that stress can actually produce all of the symptoms they were experiencing, helped. Litanies of years worth of regrets followed, the shoulda, coulda, woulda’s of questioning every decision and direction that some life choices had made them travel were questioned, regretted, and added to the mounting pile of a dreadful future, with no pleasant way out. There were so many tears, so many fears, and nothing to be done about them.
Their mind had already decided this must all be true- a machine designed to test this unthinkable disease couldn’t be wrong.
What was needed here was another chance. Oh God, for another chance to make different decisions, take different actions, to not take everything personally, and find indifference to be the road most traveled.
And we ran out of time for logic and reality to make a difference in those moments.
Part Two, coming Thursday.